i would punch a child for taco bell
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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