doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
