Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
