chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
