Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
