even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
