Slut skills are useful in every country.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize