the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
