If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
