Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
