my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize