I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
