see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
