Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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