ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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