Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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