yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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