Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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