Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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