on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
