did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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