You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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