areolas are like halos for boobs.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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