There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
