just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Randomize
