this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The air was thick with penises
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
