You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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