operation harelip BJ is a go
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
