There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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