dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize