I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
