I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
