Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize