Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(343): View more from Ontario

STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.

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(365): View more from

I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.

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(415): View more from California

sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.

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(561): View more from Florida

She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."

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(805): View more from California

Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?

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