weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
