Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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