I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
