the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
NoShamevember. You game?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
