He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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