I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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