WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
is wine microwaveable?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
