i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
