I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i've created a new STD.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
