We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wish my penis had a tongue
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
