thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
