shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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