Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
