loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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