I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
smell my finger.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
