Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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