so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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