ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I love black thongs
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
