if i can run in heels then i can drive
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize