you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize