There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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