I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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