why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
