i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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