Pants 0. Shit 1.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
