508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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