Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
