I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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