you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
