yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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