did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
