Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
