I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
