But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
